Tonight I feel as if my heart is going to break...it's after midnight of the day after Christmas and our first Northeaster of the year is roaring outside; it's too late to call anyone so I guess I'll share my feelings with you, my blog family.
As I wrote when I started this blog, my sister, Nancy, had a creative soul and her craft room was her special place. We spent many hours together down there organizing and reorganizing her boxes and bins of craft supplies, talking over a can of tab, and, sometimes, actually making things. It seems our crafting went through phases...we would get really excited about a new idea, totally obsess about it for a year or so, and then move on to a new creative passion.
There was the year of the dollhouse...make that a few years...in that time we built and decorated six dollhouses between the two of us...total obsession but great fun. We'd debate about tiny wallpaper patterns, just the right doorknobs or gingerbread trim, and on which wall the tiny mythical family would want their couch placed for viewing their miniature T.V. set. As I said...total obsession.
Then, there was the year of the birdhouses. We must have painted, distressed and decorated over fifty birdhouses that year...they were everywhere and, if you knew one of us during that time, you probably got one as a gift. Of course, these houses were never remotely intended to accommodate a family of birds; we made them to be "decorative accents" ...to impart in our homes the perfect cottage touch. Too bad for the birds...
Another year, my friend, Sandra, introduced us to rubber stamping. I convinced Nancy that if she went along with this latest craft scheme, she could save tons of money on greeting cards. We did not factor in the money we ended up spending on classes, rubber stamps, ink, glitter, papers, embossing powders and punches. By the time were were done, we had indeed made a few cards...probably worth about $25.00 each!
Did I mention the penny rug phase? Off we went to Searsport, Windham and Oxford in search of the perfect wool, the exact colors of embroidery floss, and patterns to inspire us. We actually did complete a few penny rugs that year but they definitely cost us a lot more than a few pennies...
Which brings me to why I am sitting here blogging after midnight to heal a broken heart...For those of you who haven't been following this blog, my incredible sister, Nancy, passed away last month after a six-year battle with ovarian cancer. Today I had offered to help her husband, Aaron, sort through her craft room so that there would be room to use part of the space for family that will be visiting him over the New Year holiday. Not only am I the "big sister" (translation from Psych. 101: "the responsible one") but I helped her drag all that stuff down there, and definitely helped her create the mess, so it seemed only natural that I should help him sort through it. As I unloaded the empty boxes and bins from my car, I had no idea what an emotional task lie ahead.
On one wall of the craft room sits Nancy's old oak teacher's desk. When she retired due to illness after 34 years of teaching 3rd and 4th grades, she inherited her desk. I just don't think she could face leaving it behind. On top were her reading glasses, perched as if she had just taken them off. Inside, the trappings of her teaching career...notes and cards she had saved mixed in with the red pens and sticky notes. And in one drawer, her lanyard with her photo card hanging from it marked "Wells Elementary School 2007-08". Time for my first break...
On the walls, hung Nancy's "hats". When she faced her first round of chemo in 2005, we gave her a huge "hat party" to cheer her up...all of her friends made her funny hats to wear when she lost her hair. And there they were, saved and displayed on the walls of her craft room.
The rubber stamps were there, too, and parts of birdhouses, and scraps of wool...all there as she had left it.
I know that her craft supplies will go to people who will use and appreciate them...I'll make sure of that...but it just makes her loss so terribly real. Oh, what I would give tonight for a few more hours with her in that little craft room...
I comfort myself with the words Nancy stenciled on her craft room wall...I now see them as her message to those of us she left behind: "Life is just a bowl of cherries, so live and laugh at it all." That's how Nancy lived her life and, I guess, that's how she would want us to continue to live ours as well...
